Writing a review about Papachinos is a bit like preaching to the maternal choir, but it has to be done, for the sake of new parents and those who have just moved to Joburg from Mars or Pofadder.  For the sake of this review I am referring to Papachinos in Rivonia, but they are all birds of an Italian feather and I am sure this review relates to them all.

I vividly remember my first encounter with Papachinos, primarily because a trauma like that tends to stick if you don’t get professional help.  We were invited by friends with kids (way before we had S) to Papachinos in Silver Lakes.  I have never heard of the establishment before, and it all sounded very legit. We sat outside since that is where you sit if you have little folk, and I couldn’t help but feel as if I was in the middle of a war zone, totally unarmed and uninformed.  As usual H swiftly came to the rescue and ordered a bottle of red as ammunition, with which we tried our best to drown out the screams and cries. Funny how, once you become a parent, it becomes natural background buzz while you are tuned in only to your own little gremlins’ sounds. That experience was probably responsible for us taking our merry time in becoming parents.  I am still fascinated by people who frequent Papachinos for reasons other than taking their little ones. I am not judging, just in absolute awe – they deserve a medal for bravery.

I can’t help but feel that Papachinos is the zooped up version of “that steak house we shall not mention’.  Their play areas are of better quality, and the food has a bit more personality.  Papachinos is renowned for their generous portions, most likely catering for pregnant and breastfeeding moms, and those moms who haven’t eaten in three days except for a few random pieces of spaghetti stuck in their hair.  I used to go only for their Cappuccino and cake combo (both me and S can easily demolish their chocolate cake in two bites). These little individual cakes are heaven (guarantees heartburn and shrinking jeans) on a plate, but well worth every gooey crumb.

Chocolate Heaven…

I can’t say that their food leaves a lasting legacy on my taste buds, but the number of friends readily available for little S, the proximity and the friendly staff more than make up for it.  S loves playing chef and making her own little pizza, in whatever shape she chooses. The ladies at the pizza oven are always friendly and super helpful. Most of the play areas have now been equipped with shading nets, which is a super bonus for all of us sunscreen-zilla moms.

Smaller kids’ play area in Rivonia

Unfortunately there is no way that I can avoid the sugar overdose which, without fail, follows a visit to them. Herewith the long and short of a typical visit to Papachinos:

Arrive. Decide between big or small play areas because S will choose a different one every time which inevitably result in her getting lost and me having mini heart attacks. Get seated.  Move to other area. Get seated.  S makes a pizza. Plays.  Eats two bites of her pizza.  Plays. Asks for a slushi. Drinks slushi. Ask for a R2 lolly. Licks lolly. Gives sticky, half-eaten lolly to mom. Plays. Asks for ice cream, I say no. Tantrum. Plays.  Asks for free cupcake. I say no. Tantrum. Asks dad for ice cream.  Eats ice cream.  Plays. Ask dad for free cupcake. Licks icing off free cupcake. Gives half eaten cupcake to mom. Tantrums for no reason.  Wants to go home.  Go to the car. Tantrums cause she no longer wants to go home. Get in the car, sincerely hoping there is some leftover wine at home.

So, all in all not a bad experience if you want to go somewhere where your kid will undoubtedly have fun.  Papachinos is a brilliant choice if you want to have lunch with other mommies, and you feel like having something light – their salads are actually really good, and the one dish that I can recommend.  The establishment totally caters for kids, and I appreciate that they try to do something where the whole family is catered for.

What does not work for me at most of the branches, are the many different play areas – I can never completely relax as I have no idea where little S is most of the time – but I guess once kids are older this is not a problem and it will keep them entertained for longer.

Papachinos lives up to their Philosophy which is being all about family, and I am learning to love them as I have a tenacious three year old that chooses them without fail when she gets to pick. Naturally, as in love and war, all is fair when you are a toddler, so she gets to pick even when I get to pick, and before I can say “not fair!” we are back at that orange Italian place.

Munch-o-meter 7/10

Contact Details:

Cullinan Close & Rivonia Road, Morningside, Johannesburg, 2196
011 783 1090

www.papachinos.co.za